1. |
Things Fell Apart
02:31
|
|||
We were blindsided and caught off guard
Weren’t watching as he fell apart
And all the well-wishers and businessmen
Can’t put him back together again
Told there’s no way back for him now
Thought he had everything all figured out
We tried to help and retrace his steps
But he left no forwarding address
We were blindsided and caught off guard
Weren’t watching as he fell apart
And all the well-wishers and businessmen
Can’t put him back together again
And someone says it might help to talk it out
But it’s too late for me to learn a new way now
This is all that we know
This is all that we know
And they say that everyone’s as scared as me
But I don’t know any way else to be
This is all that we know
This is all that we know
We were blindsided and caught off guard
Didn’t see the signs there from the start
And so well-wishers and family friends
Can someone put him back together again?
|
||||
2. |
Crash Test Dummy
03:36
|
|||
Verse:
Alarm goes off always the same
Crash headfirst into today
Give it time it’s right in front of you
How long until it all falls through?
Pre-Chorus:
I just need to shave my face
Make a quick ‘to-do’ list, start lifting weights
Tell myself that I'm still in control
Then there's one hundred indecisions
I used to feel, I used to be so driven
And my friend says "it's the human condition"
But I'm not convinced at all
Chorus:
You know you could still be anything
And that’s exactly why you’re still nothing
If only things were a little bit worse for you
You’re not up against a wall
You’re so unexceptional
Someone else just wants it more
And maybe you could compete with them
But is it worth the time it'd take to try and figure it out?
Verse:
Time to go for it now I suppose
But first just one more episode
It’s out of my hands, it’ll be over soon
I’m held together by a skeleton crew
Pre-Chorus:
Stalling through days and filling out forms
Please stand clear of the closing doors
Worry your friends are gonna do more
You can't commit to anything
You're a write off now, you're set in stone
A shaggy dog story with no resolve
Should know that it's not personal
You were just a trial run
Chorus:
You know you could still be anything
And that’s exactly why you’re still nothing
If only things weren't as good as they are for you
You’re not up against a wall
You’re not what they’re looking for
You're just so predictable
And sure you could be so much more
But are you worth the time it’ll take for them to figure it out?
Outro:
(Guess I’m going up in flames)
It doesn't have to go this way
(Guess I’m going up in flames)
I’m just one bad day away
(Guess I’m going up in flames)
I'm in over my head again
(Guess I’m going up in flames)
Could've been more, it's such a shame
(They'll say what they always say)
It's okay to have a bad day
(They’ll say what they always say)
You've gone and thrown it all away
(I’ve run out of things to blame)
And it’s too late for me to do anything else
(So I guess I’m going up in flames)
And it was always gonna end this way
|
||||
3. |
||||
I can feel a burnout coming
It’s already begun
And I’m about to hear the same old words from everyone
It’s always a full turnout
And now I’m getting sucked in
Then I found out why I’ve been spread so thin
I can’t be everything
Been sleeping around
On friends’ bedroom floors
Down and out
Full of empty promises
Been round the houses
Back to my old ways
Checked out
Better write off today
Laissez-faire
You’ve been bought and paid
Really thought you wanted this
I can feel a burnout coming
It’s already begun
And I’m about to hear the same old words from everyone
It’s always a full turnout
And now I’m getting sucked in
But I’ve found out on my day of reckoning
I can’t be everything
Always second guessed by someone
Ready to say ‘I told you so’
‘And here’s what I would’ve done’
As they look down their nose
Living in days by numbers
Tagging along with ‘so-and-so’
Swear I’m sorting it all out
Have-a-go heroes
They’re back
Beating up the straw man
Strong-armed
Remember when you made plans
Always letting someone else down
And stirring up trouble
I’m a deadbeat wunderkind
I can feel a burnout coming
It’s already begun
And I’m about to hear the same old words from everyone
It’s always a full turnout
And I’m getting sucked in
Then I found out why I’ve been spread so thin
I can’t be everything
Should’ve found my calling by now
What if it never comes?
When I crash out I know I’m gonna
Hear the same words from everyone
Hit the ground, better start running
Till I can’t hear a thing
And this time I’m going all in
I’ve found that I can’t be everything
Help yourself
I'm on your side
Don't you know how hard I've tried?
Sell yourself
This is your life
Your living a lie
Should've gone for it while I had the chance?
Should spend more time with Mum and Dad
Have I had the best days that I'll ever have?
Don't you know you're putting us all through hell?
They've come to bring you out of your shell
Are you a danger to yourself?
What are you scared of today?
You're alive
Don’t know why you’re still waiting
For a sign
This was your life
|
||||
4. |
Reality TV Star
02:10
|
|||
My internal monologue’s like a TV show
And I’m it’s main protagonist
The whole thing filmed all in one take
All with one camera from my point of view
I like to think all my mistakes and bad days
Are just subplots and padding leading to
The showrunner’s true intended vision
They’re just negotiating that bigger budget for next season
And this show must have a big writing team
New one each episode, I reckon 7 at least
Who decide on a whim what my mood will be
And they have no idea what they’re doing with me
There’s no sense of consistency
It’s like I’m a new character every day
Think they stole scripts meant for someone else
Gave them to me and then crossed out the names
There’s the one who thinks that he’ll transcend
The one who can’t get out of bed
The one who thinks he can't trust his friends
The one who wants it all to end
The one who says ‘hey this is all I know’
The one who wants to be alone
Be great if that main overarching story could get going at some point
Why the hell do they keep renewing this?
Must be the low budget demands (I don’t get out much)
Feel like I’d have been a better supporting character
Be whatever someone else’s story needs me to be
Guess my show’s a classic British Sitcom
With cynical characters full of resentment
Doomed to fail without redemption
And I don't know how to shake this typecast off
I want a plot twist
I want a character arc
I want a deus ex machina
I want an end of season payoff
I want the deleted scenes
I want the scenes they didn't film
I want a new director
I want the next episode
|
||||
5. |
Manic Pixie Dream Song
03:38
|
|||
Can't walk it off
Can't smoke it out
Do you believe me when I say?
I'm more over you than I've ever been now
Is there more to you than meets the eye?
A disregard for human life
Coz I’m still hiding in plain sight
And it’s only making it worse
Know I'm in a state but my mind’s changing
And when it does yours is gonna change too
Then you’ll wake up in the bed you’re making
And find that I’ve found someone new
Hope I look back a few years from now
And wonder what I ever saw in you
So I’ll get out of your hair
But pretty soon you’ll be wishing I was still there
Eventually you’ll find someone taller
Who can sweep you off of your feet
And he’ll make you feel safe when he walks you home
Safer than when you're walking home with me
Radio silence haven’t seen you in days
What’s the worst thing that I can say?
Know how this ends but I can’t look away
I'll always go back to you
Think I left it too late but my mind’s changing
And when it does yours is gonna change too
Then you’ll wake up in the bed you’re making
And find that I’ve found someone new
Hope I look back a few years from now
And wonder how I ever fell for you
So now that I'm out of your hair
Are you wishing that I was still there?
Well maybe you've pushed me away for good
And maybe I'm finally over you
This time I'm gonna up and leave
Have you changed your mind about me?
I won't crack or fall apart
I'll be there no questions asked
Well I'm fooling no one, everyone can see
That I'm still where you last left me
I wish you'd stayed here but my mind’s changing
And when it does yours is gonna change too
Then you’ll wake up in the bed you're making
To find that I've found someone who can't replace you
Know I'll look back ten years from now
And wonder why I still think about you
Clean break, there's nothing to save
You'll never see my face
Everything I said is still on repeat
Saw things that you were never gonna see
And now that I'm out of your hair
Do you even notice that I'm not there?
|
||||
6. |
Character Actor
04:18
|
|||
Verse:
It’s not gonna end any different tonight
If you spend it pinned to the wall
But we're live, and it'd be social suicide
And someone's always quicker on the draw
No second take if you forget your lines
If you do say anything at all
But if you’re waiting on the stars to align
Then you’re fighting for a lost cause
Pre-Chorus:
Well at least I can say that I went out last night
So everyone can stop worrying about me
Having fun with your friends like you’re all supposed to
The drink’s overpriced and it’s too loud to talk to
The people around on the light up floor
Know I’ll never be one of them anyway
Good thing there are ways to drown my denial
To build myself up and fall flat on my face
Chorus:
Should I lower my expectations?
Am I coming on too strong?
Can they smell the desperation on me?
I feel the panic coming on
It’s not about getting off with the nearest stranger
Or about me finding my future bride
I just want to feel normal in this place for once here
For something worthwhile to come out of tonight
Verse:
Have a problem with breaking character
When they say 'his arms and legs are thin’
It feels like the end of everything
I've heard voices die when I get to speak
Crickets chirping and tumbleweed
Should I accept it’s how I’ll always be
Or is this something you can grow out of?
Pre-Chorus:
No I'm not Prince Hamlet, wasn't meant to be
I'm someone with even less agency
A supporting player, glad to be of use
Get the odd line, start a scene or two
Right now you act like you're corinthians
But you’ll find a way to screw up soon
And yeah I’m the joke that you’re laughing at
But you’re the guise I see straight through
Chorus:
Should I lower my expectations?
Am I coming on too strong?
Can they smell the desperation on me?
Am I doing everything wrong?
It’s not about getting off with the nearest stranger
Or about me finding my future bride
I just want to feel normal in this place for once here
To walk home, not feel dead inside
Outro:
Never liked smoke and mirrors and flashing bright lights
That’s why they always go for some other guy
Still trying to lose myself and live for once
Do what everyone else my age is doing right
Should I lower my expectations?
Am I coming on too strong?
Can they smell the desperation on me?
Am I doing everything wrong?
It’s not about getting off with the nearest stranger
Or about me finding my future bride
I just want to feel normal in this place for once here
For something worthwhile to come out of tonight
No I don’t feel anything for her now
And it would have never happened anyway
And I can’t go back to the last checkpoint
So I’ll try my best to start over again
|
||||
7. |
Airplane Mode
07:03
|
|||
Don’t like what I find out about myself
In an empty room
Nothing for you to hide behind now
I know I should call home more
I should be a better son
I’m only trying to make my own way
She was nothing losing sleep over
Yeah so you told yourself
No one to hold you in their arms now
It's where I see the damage I do
Will I learn from my mistakes?
These thoughts aren’t going anywhere
Does it remind you of the burden you are
When you see grey in your mother’s hair?
Is it a second generation thing?
Will I betray where I’ve come from to
Settle down join the middle class?
Will I become everything I hate now?
Sometimes I can’t even pretend to see
If the world’s on my shoulders or at my feet
But I won’t open up to anyone
Think they're seeing the damage I do
They’re catching onto me
Can you still stand the sight of me now?
This masquerade used to comfort me
But now he’s become one more enemy
And she says she doesn’t see me that way
Is there anyway we could go back to your place?
Maybe I should push them all away now
Sever these ties see how that works out
Was this always how it was gonna end up?
Bury myself in the hole that I’ve dug
I’m pretentious, contentious
I talk too much
Insecure and gutless
I don’t talk enough
Care about what they all think
I try too hard
No I’m apathetic
I don’t try hard enough
I’m cold I'm distant
I don’t open up
I’m desperate and needy
I need to be loved
I’m so sycophantic
I’m way too much
I pander, I stutter
I’m never enough
Could you cover me now?
Could you cover me now?
Could you cover me now?
Could you cover me now?
(Put me on airplane mode)
Could you cover me now?
(Go incognito)
Could you cover me now?
(And make me numb)
Could you cover me now?
(Don’t let in anyone)
|
||||
8. |
||||
Verse:
One thing always leads to another
Whenever I assume you're looking my way
Thought I was above this
They told me it was a phase
Let me be your Jay Gatz
Let me build myself around you
Because I'd rearrange my world to
Increase the chance of seeing you
She don't taste like you would've done
And I know I've set the bar too high
But I go straight back to square one
Whenever you are walking by
And I know we haven't talked for months
But I think that's made it worse somehow
Because you're still the manic pixie dream girl
That I'll never figure out
Bridge:
Told myself I'd stop building things up in my head
Then she laughed and remembered something that I'd said
And I thought "hey, there could be something here"
But that moment never meant a thing
It's over before it begins
It was all wishful thinking
It feels like everyone's watching
I try not to be bitter
But now all I can see
Are lovers holding hands and laughing
Making out in front of me
Refrain:
And they're perfect for eachother
Is that supposed to make it better?
And they're perfect for eachother
And I'm pretty sure that makes it worse
Outro:
This was a blip, a wake up call
But I've learned nothing new
I'll sing this song about someone else
Put them on my pedestal
False alarm, it felt so real
But now I know the truth
Romantic tropes are tedious
Until they come for you
|
||||
9. |
Lost in a Coffee Shop
02:44
|
|||
Verse:
Thought I’d get some inspiration here
Thought I could use a change of scene
Observe some conversations here
Need someone watching me
This is how so many greats did it
And I know coz I just looked it up
This is gonna make all the difference
I'm drinking from a half-full cup
Chorus:
It’s only a matter of time now
Something will come to me soon
Then I’ll encapsulate, I’ll have so much to say
I’ve got so much to prove
This time I’ll stay focused, write my magnum opus
I'll have a plan once more
And so I'm writing in coffee shops, to undo my writer's block
How did I ever live before?
Verse:
Someone crunch the numbers
Work out how much I could’ve saved
Gone through half a dozen loyalty cards
I’m here nearly every day
Was fun at first but the novelty
Wore off a long time ago
I just come here out of habit now
I can’t stand to be alone
Chorus:
Think the caffeine’s making me doubt myself
Just hope that something comes to me soon
And I know they say to follow your instincts
But I still need to be approved
Don’t mean to get existential
And I know I don’t have to stay
All I know is that I’m getting older
Can’t have another blank page today
Can't get in the zone, have no self-control
There's too many distractions here
Thought I was so clever, I'm more lost than ever now
Done absolutely nothing this year
I thought this was my calling
But now I’m not so sure
I've been writing in coffee shops, but I've still got writer's block
How did I ever do this before?
Outro:
He died of unfulfillment
Slumped over a makeshift desk
Poisoned by his hair gel
Choked on his turtleneck
So they looked at what he’d written
What he’d left behind for the world
It was the most genius first draft of
An opening first sentence
|
||||
10. |
Pariah
02:06
|
|||
Sold out by turncoats, they scapegoated me
They picked the wrong side of history
Won’t pull my punches, got a one track mind
I’m out to skin someone alive
I'm a pariah, a gun for hire
I'm smashing windows in
I want you dead now, off with your heads now
Throwing the kitchen sink
I’m a pariah, and I’m a liar
I’m under your skin
I came out to pick a fight
Dragging them all down with me tonight
They’re so suburban with nothing to lose
What’s the worst thing I can say to you?
An itch to scratch, a rat to drown
A joke I’ll run into the ground
And I'll feel nothing
I’m a pariah, a getaway driver
And if you shoot the king you better kill the king
I’m in your head now, bet you want me dead now
Shouldn’t have let me in
I’m a viper, time to pay the piper
I’m coming for everything
Been biding my time, something to prove
Last night I dreamed I strangled you
What happened to that sweet young boy?
I threw him onto the tracks
Now there’s this stranger in his place
And there’s no turning back
Cut his nose to save your face
Don’t show them any remorse
Taking them out in a blaze of glory
But I don’t know what I’m doing it for
Burn the bridges, bring them all down
Bet you’re proud of yourself now
You just blew your final chance
I’m a victim of circumstance
Help me out, I'm just in a rut
I won’t stop until you all hate my guts
They’ve come for you so open up
I’m not disgusted with myself enough
|
||||
11. |
Mushroom Cloud
03:48
|
|||
Verse:
Never thought I'd get the opportunity
To see my life flash before me in a mushroom cloud
Negotiations have broken down
And we've passed the point of no return now
Chorus:
At least we're not the only ones
At least we took down everyone with us
Was just trying to change my life's trajectory
And now no one else will laugh at me
At least it was mutually assured
Both sides of my brain knew what they signed up for
A factory reset's essential sometimes
There'll be no half measures and diplomats this time
Verse:
Never thought I'd get the opportunity
To see my life flash before me in a mushroom cloud
The view from the ground's a cathartic sight
Guess you just have to be here at the time
Chorus:
At least we're not the only ones
They say there's tens of millions like us
At least it was all well informed
Everyone's gonna get what they were asking for
Is it really a big deal anyway?
They're rebooting everything else these days
Just taking things back to the drawing board
Going back to basics, not feeling anymore
Bridge:
They’re tiptoeing round you and speaking in code
So sit back now and enjoy the show
A cautionary tale that’s been years in the making
But nobody cared until the walls were caving in
Am I breaking down or is this an epiphany?
All I know is it’s taking all care from me
And I just want you all to know
I fought it with every bone
Outro:
Can you see anything worth saving?
Can you see anything worth saving? (My love)
Can you see anything worth saving? (Worth saving, worth saving)
Can you see anything worth saving? (Anyone)
Didn't think so
|
||||
12. |
||||
Verse:
She says they came from India
Then some escaped from their aviary
Or maybe someone else released them
Now you can find them nesting in cities
They don’t migrate in winter
Don’t leave when things get tough
Somehow they made a home in London
Said one time she saw a whole flock
Years go by, and temperatures rise
But they're not afraid of change
We're going under, they're growing in numbers
And they're all here to stay
We're on thin ice, been stood at the sides
But it's time for me to join the fray
We're trying, we're driven, this world's not a given
Won't let it go up in flames
Chorus:
We kid ourselves about what we want
It’s where all our problems are coming from
Hide it in boxes what we really love
We’re dancing where no one else sees us
Verse:
Now the naysayers are calling for culls
Say they’re a danger to our way of life
They’re feral and there’s too many of them
Got a licence to shoot on sight
It’s so easy to be the contrarian
Shame people who care for anything
It’s harder to be someone who knows who they are
But they’re the ones worth remembering
Chorus:
We kid ourselves about what we want
It’s where all our problems are coming from
Hide it in boxes what we really love
We’re dancing where no one else sees us
Try to be what we think they want
Our friends, our parents, the people we love
Don’t be like the others, just open up
We’ll dance where no one can see us
Bridge:
You think no one’s gonna wanna know you
And that they won't like what they'll find
And I’m guilty of this as well
I just can't go in blind
You’re not like everyone else
You’re not standoffish and you’re not cold
You can’t fake it so don’t backtrack now
Don’t act like you don’t care, let it show
Chorus:
We kid ourselves about what we want
It’s where all our problems are coming from
Hide it in boxes what we really love
We’re dancing where no one else sees us
We’re always worried that we’ll scare them off
Gotta earn it for us to open up
It’s a feeling I thought that I’d forgot
But we’re dancing where no one can see us
|
||||
13. |
Intromaniac
04:55
|
|||
Verse:
Teenage nihilism has worn of now
So how am I supposed to pass the time?
My impressions are fooling no one
Still can’t read a room to save my life
Wanna make some change to the status quo
But I guess it’s better the hell you know
How can I follow through with anything that I say?
When we’ve all still got rent to pay
Pre-Chorus 1:
Get out your head now man
Am I getting through to anyone now?
You’ve let things get away from you man
I don’t think you understand
Pre-Chorus 2:
Too long didn’t read, this is all lost on me
Just give me the basic exposition
You just need more confidence
Gotta get better at making decisions
Chorus:
You’ve brought it all on yourself
You can’t blame anyone else
You had such a good start
You don’t know how lucky you are
Help me I’m freaking out
You don’t know what you’re talking about
And now I’m drowning in my own irony
Can anything be salvaged from me?
Verse:
Think I jumped the shark a while ago
A cartoon of whatever I used to be
And all my fair friends and enemies
Are crashing round my head for free
Thought for once I’d made some progress today
Then I looked at what Bowie was doing at my age
It was inspiring at first, but then I read ahead
And pretty soon it’s gonna get depressing instead
Pre-Chorus 1:
You’ve made your bed now man
Has the hope been beaten out?
There’s no home here for you now
I still don’t think you understand
Pre-Chorus:
Take a walk, get a job, take a crack at it
You’ve gotta learn how to commit
No drive and work ethic, that’s all this is
And everyone’s patience is running out
Chorus:
Calm down it’s all just a phase
I went through the same at your age
You should get out your own head
And try living in mine instead
You’re going half in half out
You’re letting everyone down
I try so hard to people please
Do you think you can help me?
Outro:
I’m tunnel visioning everything
And telegraphing all my moves
Do I have any say here?
Are we made by focus group?
The gun’s still hanging on the wall
This time I hope that I don’t crack
Always end up overthinking it
I’m an intromaniac
|
||||
14. |
||||
And so you think that things are moving too slow
And your days are bottle episodes
Still haven’t learned how to live alone
Can’t grow into or out of this
And now you’re looking at the past with rose glasses on
Trying to figure out where you went wrong
Are you hoping that things will come together for once?
Against all odds and expectations
But maybe this time
You’ll get this hour right
This is what it means to be alive
Between the best and worst of times
And I know it’s not much to get behind
But it’s the only one we have
And you don’t have to have it all figured out
They say it’s okay to be a mess right now
I know you’re scared if you fall you won’t make a sound
You’ve got so much to prove
But maybe this time
I’ll get this hour right
It’s in when you don’t wanna pick up the phone
It’s in when you’re lying in bed alone
When you’ve got nothing left to give
Don’t know why we do this
But maybe I’ll get it right this time
And maybe I won’t waste an hour this time
And maybe I can open up this time
It’s gotta be worth one more try
Another chance to get it right
I’ve got this one in my sight
One day at a time
One hour at a time
So maybe this time
I’ll get this hour right
|
Project Culture London, UK
Occasionally self-aware London art rock band.
Gary Hill - Vocals and
Guitar
Andrew Lewis Smith - Guitar and Vocals
Jamie Richardson - Bass
Toby Cashman - Drums
... more
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